Having a curfew, for many teenagers, seems unfair, not fun
or just generally unnecessary. There are pros and cons to setting a specific
time the teenager must be home; however, many times, the pros far outweigh the
cons. If you have a teenager living in the house, consider the benefits of
setting a curfew before you dismiss the idea as impossible to set into place or
too old-fashioned.
Giving a curfew to a teenager has more benefits than just
the fact that he will be in at a certain time. Setting an hour by which he must
be home gives him a sense of structure, predictability and security that will
last the rest of his life. While his friends may be allowed to do whatever they
want and stay out all night, your child will have a sense of responsibility
that he must return home before it gets too late. This will set him up to feel
safe and will give him a sense of boundaries in his life.
As a parent, you will feel at ease knowing your teenager is
going to be home at a certain hour. Furthermore, if she is not home at this
hour you will have a sense that something is not right. With everything
dangerous that goes on during the later hours of the night, it makes sense for
a parent to be aware that her child is in the house and safe. You can even
allow your son to bring friends over past curfew, as long as they are all
staying in the house.
Having a curfew is generally safer for several reasons.
First of all, if your child drives, being out later puts him at risk of
encountering drunk drivers or anyone who is driving carelessly on the road.
Second, hanging out during the later hours makes it easier for your teenager to
make decisions he will later regret, such as the decision to drink or to try
drugs. It is much easier to give in to pressure when it is late at night and
the decision-making processes of the mind are not as sharp as they are during
the day.
Parents will be able to count on
their child being in at a certain time, which brings predictability and
structure to their own lives. This helps them to raise their child a certain
way, with boundaries and structure, and assists them in parenting the way they
want to parent. Feeling as a parent that boundaries are in place and values are
reinforced makes the process of raising a teenager more simple and more
constructive for both parties.
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